Top gym pet peeves

So you finally get your ass into the gym after an hour of stalling or pushing the snooze button repeatedly. Some days just click. You’re less tired, you’re more motivated, you can run an extra mile on the treadmill or you’ve graduated to a higher weight you can lift.

But then there are those days where you’re dragging, when you forgot your water bottle or had to stop for morning coffee before, which is now sloshing inside your belly as you bounce up and down on the elliptical. That’s when you start noticing your gym pet peeves. You know, things other people do at the gym that annoy you, or ticks that just really set you off.

Here are my top gym pet peeves in no particular order

(although #6 is my top pp):

1. When men stare at my ass.

2. When women stare at my ass.

3. People who fight for the front row parking spaces. You’re going to the gym, walking ten extra feet across the parking lot will only do you some good.

4. Women who wear skanky outfits to the gym. I’m talking spandex with ass hanging out and a sports bra that barely covers their boob jobs.

5. 9 a.m. Don’t people have jobs? Why is the gym so crowded at this time?

6. When there are literally 30 treadmills available and someone gets on the one right next to me. I don’t want to hear you breathing, and I don’t want you to hear me breathing.

7. My iPod runs out of battery life in the middle of a cardio workout.

8. People who walk on the treadmill with no incline at 2.5 miles/hour for an hour. That’s not really doing anything for you.

9. Chubbier men who think they’re fit. It’s great that you’re in here, but do you have to walk around with your chest puffed out and arms held out by your side?

10. Tanning booths.

11. What the hell is red light therapy?

12. Why is there a bowl of tootsie rolls on the front desk? This is a gym.

13. No towels.

14. Girls who run in packs that come in and do abs for ten minutes, talk loudly about nothing and then leave. You’re taking up floor space.

15. When someone uses a machine that’s part of your superset routine.

16. Overpriced gym drinks.

17. Why do the showers smell like a swamp?

18. Come on, wipe down the machine!

19. People who wear too much perfume or cologne.

20. Children in the gym. Shouldn’t they be playing sports or with their friends outside? You know, kid stuff?

I would love to hear others gym pet peeves. Comments welcome!

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2 Comments

Filed under Entertainment, Feature, Features, Fitness, funny, Health, humor, Opinion, Personal

2 responses to “Top gym pet peeves

  1. Here are a few of mine…yours are awesome.
    Gym Rules 2012
    1.Stop your damn yelling… I don’t need to hear your “man screams”. If you cannot pick up a weight or do a set of exercises, without scaring the shit outta everyone else, stop. These noises usually sound like a really painful orgasm…nobody wants one of those;)
    2.Leave your damn milk jug at home…nobody needs a whole damn gallon of water just to get through one workout. Let’s be honest, most people workout for a little over an hour. So that means just buy a regular bottle, like the rest of America. Milk Jug = D-Bag
    3.Dudes wear shirts with sleeves…I don’t give a shit about seeing your muscles, you don’t impress me. Who are you trying to impress anyways? The dudes in the gym? You will not see Jay Z walking around handing out damn bank statement business cards. So just wear a t-shirt like the rest of us.
    4.Ladies keep your thong inside your pants…especially if your fat and or fine. I can’t concentrate with a hard on if your workout involes a thong out. I also cannot get a hard on if all I see is your ass cleavage, sticking out on the larger ladies.
    5. Parents keep your kids outta the “Big Boy Room”, if you are not with them. You won’t catch me running around like a jackass at Chuck E Cheese, tying up the kids shit. So show the rest of us the same respect.
    6.What up with your damn huge ass luggage bag o shit? Leave that damn thing at home, and yes it makes you look like a d-bag. Betcha this is the milk jug guy;)
    7. Stop making love to yourself in the mirror while lifting…guys and ladies that do this just creep me out. ” I am just checking my form”, Bullshit Amigo.
    8.Rack your weights…look I don’t want to clean up after you!
    9.Stop lubing the equipment with wipes…one or two will do the trick. There is no need to give the machine a “Cleaning Hand Job”, just move along.
    10.This is a personal one. To the guy who asks me if I am using the machine, when my ass is on it. Do me a favor and go to Hell…that is the word.

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